Daisy FoxPanda

“So it was hard for you too? Letting me go?”, I managed to asked him who was standing next to me, that bold aftershave he used to wear four or five years ago still lingering in the air.

“Hard would be an understatement”, He replied as he took my hand and squeezed it gently. “When you left me, I lost a part of me forever. I drowned myself in work, alcohol, and what not but nothing worked. Nothing filled up that hole in my chest which you’d left behind. I used to walk at night, drunk, looking up at the stars, missing you, hoping against hope that somewhere you were missing me too”.

“You do realize I never wanted you to go through this don’t you?”, I said, tears welling up inside in my eyes. “I know, I know”, He assured me.

I paused for a minute thinking about whether I should speak or not. “You know”, I said, “When I left you I was so sure that I did not want you and that I wanted him and only him. But time and time again, even when I was with him, even when everything was perfect and I should have been happy, I wondered more about the thing I had left behind than the one I had gained. My brain told me to shut the hell up but my heart always refused to listen. Was that a sign that I loved you?”

“I do not know”, He replied putting his arm around my shoulders, “But maybe we could try again? This time when we both are wiser?” I was surprised, “I never thought you’d want me after all this time. I mean after all……….”

“Always my love”, He said interrupting me, “I would always want you. And only you”.

Just as he whispered this I woke up, another day, another dream.